So Far Away
by Erin1983
Summary: Life is beginning to fade for one, but another is about to live. What will happen when a choice is made?
1. Part 1

A/N: Okay, I'm not sure I liked this story but I was on my way to work this morning when the song "Far Away" by Nickelback was playing and this general idea came into my mind. Also, the movie "Ghost Dad" (I know most of you won't remember it) inspired me as well.

A/N: It's just a short-fic nothing to be excited about. I own anyone who isn't part of the "7th Heaven" family and just for your information this story takes about two years after the end of season 11.

A/N: this story is a four part story. It was ten pages too long for a short story so I improvised.

A/N: And yes, the dog that you will read about is named after my dog and the colors are the same so if you think I stole your idea I didn't so don't bother suing…all I have is my dog and .50 in my bank account…did you really think you'd get something out of a poor college student?

A/N: Read and Review I know it sucks but what can I do?

* * *

_This time, this place, Misused, Mistakes_

She watched him sleep peacefully and held his hand. It had to of been a mistake. They said not worry, he had plenty of time. Instead here she was in their room...watching him slowly fail each passing day, not knowing if each day would be his last, or if by chance, the will of god that he would make it until the end of the week, month and if they were lucky maybe another year.

_Too long, too late, who was I to make you wait_

For days there was something telling her everything was not alright and she let it slip through her fingers. She knew the signs had been there for a while, but she ignored them. Now, it was just too late. Now, she blamed herself for the time that was going to be lost.

_Just one chance, just one breath, just in case there's just one left_

And now, sitting beside him holding his hand she knew that every breath he took may be his last and she didn't want that to happen. Over 40 years of marriage, 7 children, 6 grandchildren, plus one on the way and an almost empty home the only life she will have ever known may disappear with one last breath.

_'Cause you know, you know, you know_

"Annie," the hoarse voice spoke. Annie lifted her head away from the hands that they held and looked over at the only man she had ever loved. With tears brimming to the tops of her eyes she looked over at the pale, gray haired man.

"Shhh…" she murmured to him. "You need your strength if you are going to see the grandkids today and go down for dinner" she told him standing up and letting go of his hand to tuck the blue and gold blanket that lay across their bed around his waist. He had been bed-ridden since the mild heart attack he had suffered last month and that was enough for the doctors to put him on complete bed-rest, anymore stress on his heart could weaken him further.

For a while he complained but then realized what his middle daughter felt while being bed-ridden during her first pregnancy and was able to accept the fact that he was no longer the active man that he had been and was now relying on the help of others, as others had relied on him.

_That I love you, I have loved you all along_

"Come here," he croaked, patting the empty space between him and the night stand signaling for her to come and sit next to him. Annie sighed and moved back to the empty spot where she had just been sitting and laid down next to him. Eric scooted over a little bit to give her enough room. He laid his head back on the headboard and soon her head joined his. Their hands linked together as so many times before then.

_And I miss you, been far away for far too long_

"Annie," he started his sentence again and cleared his throat. "There is something that I have wanted to tell you these past few weeks," he stated his voice barely above a whisper. Annie moved her head she should be able to look him in his eyes. "I already know what you want to say. I don't want you to think like that," she told him, the words barely coming out coherent. Eric released their linked hands and wrapped his right arm around her shoulders. He knew that his time here was almost up and he wanted to make sure his wife knew how much he loved her.

"I should have told you this before" he chucked, pausing to take a breath. It was getting harder and harder everyday to breathe.

_I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go_

"I want you to know Annie Camden, I'll be here. I'll be in your dreams, your every thought and every being. I'll be here when Ruthie gets married, when the twins graduate from college. I'll be right here." He showed her placing his left hand over her heart. "All you have to do is keep believing and I'll be here from the time you wake up until the time you go to bed and even then I'll be in your dreams" he told her trying hard to choke back the tears that were threatening to come crashing down his face. "All you have to do is believe" he said simply, repeating the words over.

_Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore_

"Eric," she sobbed burying her face into his chest. "Don't leave me. Don't leave us. Please" she cried harder. His flannel night shirt sopping up the tears and starting to become drenched. Eric just pulled her closer. He had a nice talk with God the other night. Told him he was thankful for everything and everyone he had ever placed into his life and he couldn't be happier and he had accepted the fact that God wanted him to come back home and he would be ready whenever God needed him.

_On my knees, I'll ask Last chance for one last dance_

"Annie, let's dance. It's been years and I don't want to lay in this bed one more day!" he told her suddenly. Annie wiped away her tears and looked at him confused almost. "What do you mean you want to dance? We haven't danced in years since Lucy's Wedding" she exclaimed. Eric smiled. Only Annie would look him that way wondering what was going through his mind when he wanted to do something spontaneous.

"I don't think you are up to that."

"I feel good, I felt better than I have in a while" he pointed out to her. "Actually I think today is the best I have ever felt" he told her stretching the truth just a little but in fact he was feeling a lot better than he had recently. Maybe it was because of a new medication that he had been placed on or maybe it was, well maybe there was no reason he was feeling better.

He started to get up from the bed but he felt some slight pressure on his chest and stopped. "Eric? What's wrong? Are you okay?" Annie asked frantically. Eric shook his head. "I'm okay, I guess I'm not ready to take on the world right now" He joked easing himself back onto the bed and closed his eyes waiting for the tightness to pass.

Annie sighed. It was getting harder for her to tell him no to the things he used to love doing. Before he had become bed-ridden she practically had to force him to let Lucy take on the church services on Sunday, when he wasn't feeling great.

"I will see what I can do for you," she told him patting his hand as she got up from her spot. She heard the front door open and knew that one of the kids was here.

"Eric? I think you have…" she turned around to tell him that one of the kids was here, but she had missed the opportunity. He had fallen into another sleep session, which the doctors said were normal for someone whose heart was weaking.

_'Cause with you, I'd withstand all of hell to hold your hand_

Annie walked out of the master bedroom and down towards the stairs. She held the hand rail as she moved slowly down the steps. She no longer felt the need to hurry to see who was here. With all 7 kids in the Glenoak area she knew it had to of been one of them. When she arrived at the last step whomever had let themselves in had moved into a different room. It wasn't until she had been attacked by three pairs of children's arms that she realized Carlos and Mary were the ones who had arrived first.

"Gamma" the two twin girls, Ashley and Jenny exclaimed bouncing up and down as they continued to hug her. Annie brushed the hair out of their eyes and gave the two girls a large hug and a kiss on top of each of their foreheads. 6-year-old Charlie had pried himself loose and stood off to the side waiting for his sisters to stop hogging his grandma so he could get his turn.

Annie hugged the girls again and bent down to give them a kiss. "Grandpa is asleep right now but why don't you go and see if you can find Happy and then go and see if Grandpa is up? And if he isn't go and give him his special kisses, that should make him wake up" she winked at them as the two girls raced up the stairs making such a loud noise that Annie was sure Eric would wake up. Annie spotted her eldest grandson, hovering towards the living room. She smiled at him and wrapped her arm around him and led him towards the kitchen.

"How's my favorite grandson?" she asked him as they walked into the dining room and into the kitchen where Mary and Carlos were bent over the counter looking at some magazine. "Mom!" Mary exclaimed looking up from the counter. "How's dad doing?" she asked in a hushed whisper hoping not to upset Charlie. Ever since they had told the kids that Eric wasn't doing too well, Charlie had started to act strange. Maybe it was because as a toddler, Charlie and Carlos had spent several holidays and long weeks with the Camden family when Mary had left them and his Grandpa Eric was as close to his mom as he could get to.

"The same" Annie replied as she always did. How can you explain to your own children that their dad, who was always the strong one when people were weak, that he might not make it through the night? And if he does that's one more day he has under his belt and one less day to live.

_I'd give it all, I'd give for us, Give anything but I won't give up _

The back door opened and Savannah, Kevin and Lucy's daughter came walking though the kitchen with a small black, brown and white puppy in her arms. "Look grammma! Daddy bought me a doggy" she exclaimed dropping the puppy to the floor. She hesitated for a moment and that was enough. The puppy escaped from her clutches and ran out of the room. "Callie come back" the little girl cried running after her puppy.

Kevin was the next person to come through the door carrying Lucy's purse and coat along with Savannah's. Annie knew they were going to be late due to the impending doctor's appointment they had, but she didn't expect them to be so early. "Kevin!" she exclaimed walking over to the back door and taking the coats and Lucy's purse out of his hand. "I thought you guys were going to be late"

Kevin nodded. "We were, but the doctor managed to squeeze us in earlier than we expected. Did you guys see where Savannah went off to?" he asked them noticing the leash on the floor. "I take it Callie got away from her again" he laughed picking up the leash and heading towards the family room where you could hear the screams of a 4-year-old trying to get her new puppy to come to her, as Lucy walked into the kitchen and shut the door.

"Mom" she squealed giving Annie a hug along with Mary and Carlos. Annie hadn't seen Lucy's blue eyes shine with happiness since her miscarriage of the twins she had been carrying two years ago. "I take it you guys got some good news?" she asked them. Lucy nodded. "Since it's been a week and I haven't gone into labor they are going to induce labor in two days if my water doesn't break!" she exclaimed giggling in a young girl manner.

Before Annie had a chance to ask when the date of inducing was, Matt and Sarah with their two boys Clark and Alexander came thru the back door and Annie had forgotten all about the baby. Space started to slowly fade away with the arrival of Simon and his fiancée Andrea and Ruthie, who was a sophomore at the University of Connecticut had just finished her final exams the day before, arrived a few moments later. She had planned on getting a job in as a intern at the Connecticut State News but elected to come back home for the summer to help her mom out with the twins and her dad.

Sam and David were both at a summer camps at the moment and would be arriving home soon from the car pool. Normally, it was Annie's turn to take the car pool but she had to bow out especially with Eric being the way he was. Sam was in the neighboring town of Alma and David was right here in Glenoak. After Sam and David had performed that little skit with Margaret, a homeless girl the Camden's had taken in for a while, Sam decided that acting was something that he wanted to do. So for the summer everyday from 9am until 8pm, he would be attending Alma's school of Acting and Dance, while David who had started to show his athletic side, was interested in football so Annie sent him to the Glenoak's Community football camp for the summer.

_'Cause you know, you know, you know_


	2. Part 2

Everyone gathered around the dining room table. The kids and Ruthie (who was the responsible adult) sat at the children's table to keep the peace between feuding siblings while the adults including Eric were at the grown ups table. It was well into 2am when everyone started to slow down and clean up. Normally, the house would have been too small for everyone to stay at but luckily enough they had done enough maneuvering to let Kevin, Lucy and Savannah stay in the attic, Simon, Sam, David and Matt's two boys would share the twin's old room, while Andrea and Ruthie would share the hello kitty room along with Ashley and Jenny. Matt and Sarah were going to share Mary and Lucy's old room, while Mary, Carlos and Charlie would sleep in the living room. It would be a tight squeeze but everyone would fit.

After crawling into bed to make sure that Eric was going to be comfortable for the night, Annie shut her eyes and started to drift off to sleep with the humming of the oxygen machine that Eric used during the night to get enough oxygen to breathe. She could hear the giggles and the laughter that were coming out of her tired grandchildren and the bark of a puppy that was being tortured by the little 4-year-old who wanted nothing to do with sleep and everything to do with dressing her up in doll clothes, but couldn't understand to some complexity that the puppy wasn't going to cooperate on the level that she wanted.

_I wanted, I wanted you to stay_

Lucy was upstairs in the attic just started to drift back to sleep after she had convinced Savannah that Callie was tired and she needed to be left alone so she, herself could go to sleep just like her. She had barely managed to ease back onto the bed when she felt a small twitch go down her back. She brushed it off to the fact that she was carrying the extra baby weight she had gained during the pregnancy plus an extra ten pounds that she packed on in the beginning when Ben and Jerry's "Oatmeal Cookie Crunch" was all that she could handle with the morning sickness she had experienced. She closed her eyes and was going back to sleep when the same twitch started again. She bit her lip as this time the pain was a bit stronger. She sat up from the twin bed and got out of bed and that's when she felt it, the rush of fluid.

Her water had broken and now that meant disturbing her husband. "Kevin" she whispered loudly, just soft enough that she wouldn't wake up her daughter, who had just fallen asleep only a few minutes ago. Kevin squirmed a bit but settled back down. Lucy rolled her eyes and walked over to the other twin bed sometimes stopping when the contractions would hit her the hardest. "Kevin" she whispered again but this time she rocked him back and forth. "Hrmph" came the answer. "My water broke" she whispered into his ear. "So go get a new one" he murmured turning back over to his left hand side. Lucy tapped her foot. For him being a cop for such a long time, who could withstand no sleep for 48 hours, was abusing his stay-at-home dad privileges.

Finally after the last contraction stopped, she flung the covers off of him and threw them onto the floor covering Callie who whelped with fear. Kevin's eyes popped wide open when he realized that he no longer had any covers on and it had gotten to be quite drafty where he was sleeping. "What did you go and do that for?" he asked turning the light on that was in between the two twin beds. Lucy placed a hand against her backside and winced in pain. "My water broke"

Kevin eyes widened and within two seconds he had leaped up from the bed, threw a t-shirt on over his head and grabbed his pants off from the desk chair. Almost tumbling over his daughters Barbie's he managed to get dressed in one piece and raced downstairs.

Annie who could hardly sleep these days, heard someone thundering down the stairs. She sat up and snuck out of bed trying extra hard not to wake Eric up. She grabbed her robe that she had thrown over the end of the bed and wrapped it around her body. For it being late January it was still pretty cold compared to the normal California weather they were use to having. She reached the door and opened it slightly and stepped into the chillness of the hallway and almost ran into Kevin who looked like he was in shock. "Kevin!" she exclaimed. "What are you doing up at this hour?"

Kevin paused for a moment before taking two steps. "Lucy's water just broke. I'm going to take her to the hospital." With that in mind, he rushed down the stairs so he could run over to their house that was next door and grab Lucy's hospital bag that had been packed for weeks, plus he wanted to grab an extra pair of clothes for both him and Savannah so they would both have something to wear the next day.

_'Cause I needed I need to hear you say_


	3. Part 3

Annie paced back and forth in the hospitals waiting room. They had just wheeled Lucy into the birthing room and the contractions were getting closer. It looked like she wasn't going to be induced anytime soon the way this baby wanted to come out! She stopped pacing and checked on Eric who had heard the commotion and wanted to join Annie to be at the birth of his 7th grandchild. Savannah was at home with her aunt's, uncles and cousins and would come to the hospital after Lucy delivered the baby so she could come and meet her new brother or sister. "Eric, I'm going to get a cup of coffee would you like anything?" she asked pausing just briefly to get a few coins out of her purse.

Eric shook his head no and closed his eyes. He was tired again, he couldn't shake the feeling that it was almost over for him. He wouldn't have to let his family suffer through all of this anymore. He sat in the wheel chair and drifted back to sleep letting his dreams take complete control of his body, back to the day when Lucy was born.

* * *

"_Reverend Camden? Are you okay?" a nurse asked him once he came too. He opened his eyes and noticed that he and Annie were in the same room, yet each one of them was occupying a different bed. "What happened?" he asked rubbing his head and wincing when he hit a spot that was tender on the back._

_The nurse chuckled. "The doctor asked if you wanted to cut the umbilical cord and you turned a shade of green and hit your head hard when you pass out cold" she told him as she ran her hand, feeling the bump that was starting to swell. "Here" she handed him a compress filled with ice. "This should help the swelling go down for now and if you would like to see your daughter she's down at the end of the hall"_

_Eric got up from the hospital bed and kissed Annie on the forehead before leaving the room. Annie was tired after 25 and a half hours of labor and needed her rest, before her parents brought Matt and Mary up to the hospital. He walked slowly down the hallway and ended at the nursery and started to canvas each incubator that the infants were in until he found her. Swaddled up inside a soft, warm, pale pink blanket with a little pink hat on top of her head. He stared at her for a bit before a nurse asked him if she could do anything. _

_When he explained that he was Camden's father the nurse smiled and walked back into the nursery and picked her up from the incubator and brought him out so he could be the first to hold her. The nurse placed the littlest Camden into his arms showing him how to support her head. She told him that she was just going to take her down to see her mom until he came along so she'd let him have some time with the new baby and meet him back in Annie's room._

* * *

"Okay Lucy. We need a few more pushes and we'll have this baby out in no time" Dr. Schwab told her placing her legs into the stirrups. Lucy huffed and puffed. "I don't think I can do this" she admitted to the doctor. "I am so tired" she stated simply closing her eyes as Kevin blotted her head with a cool, damp washcloth that the nurse brought him. "You can do this Luce. You've done it before. At least this time you are in a hospital" he joked.

Lucy glared at him and started to say something when a sharp pain hit. It was harder than she had ever felt before even. "Kevin. Something doesn't feel right" she murmured to him. She could hardly see now, it was like everything was fading to black and just before she lost consciousness she could hear the doctor "CODE RED CODE RED".

Kevin was just standing in shock. One minute she was conscious and the next she was starting to lose a lot of blood. The doctor had called a Code Red. He racked his brain trying to remember what that was but to no avail he couldn't remember. "What's going on? What's happening to my wife?" he shouted at one of the nurses who were busily hooking Lucy to some more IV's.

"Sir, we need you to leave" the nurse told him. "I'm not going anywhere! What's happening?" he started to ask but was unable to finish when they pushed him out of the room and shut the door. He tried to peak through the glass but when a nurse realized that he could still see, she threw the curtains over to the left hand side and he was now unable to see anything.

_That I love you, I have loved you all along_

Lucy could feel something was wrong. As if she was floating. This was different. "Am I dreaming?" she thought but it wasn't until she looked down and she could see her body, her doctor and the nurses surrounding her hooking her up to machines. "We've got to get this baby out NOW" a doctor yelled to his staff as Lucy looked on. She watched as they wheeled her into the next room which was an operating room attached and they performed a c-section.

She watched as her beautiful baby boy was born, screaming his lungs off. She chuckled. He sounded like a true Kinkirk. She looked around to see where Kevin was. Normally he'd be right there looking at the baby but she didn't see him. Somehow she managed to get herself back to the floor and go into the waiting room.

There he was. Sitting down on one of those cold, hard plastic chairs with his hands over his face. Annie had her arm around him and was whispering something in his ear. Lucy walked over and sat down on the empty chair next to him and tried to put her arm around him but she just went thru his body. She gasped and looked at her hands. They looked normal but why couldn't she touch him?

_And I forgive you, for being away for far too long, so keep breathing _

"Don't worry" someone said behind her, startling her. She got up and turned around and it was her dad. "Dad? What's going on? How come no one can see me?" she asked starting to cry. She didn't want to die; she was too young to die. "It's not your time to go" he told her simply.

Lucy looked confused for a moment. "What are you talking about? Dad, I'm so scared" she sobbed. Eric walked closer and wrapped his arms around his daughter. He would have to tell her. "How…how" she hiccupped. "How come you can touch me but I can't touch Kevin. I need him daddy!" she exclaimed.

Eric released his arms from his daughter and motioned for her to sit down next to him. "Luce, I…we aren't doing too well". He didn't want to tell her the truth, but he was her father and he had never lied to her. "What do you mean?" she asked wiping away some tears from her eyes.

"Your delivery. It didn't go the way it was suppose to. Something happened. Your blood pressure dropped and they weren't able to get a stable heart rate on you. They had to do an emergency c-section and take the baby before they could stabilize you. You have a son Luce!" Eric exclaimed. Lucy stared at him dumbfounded. There was no way? Was there? She was dead? She couldn't be if she was still here.

"Am I…?" she gulped. "Am I dead?" Eric shook his head. "No, you aren't dead but you need to get back in there soon". "Dad, I'm confused. If I'm here and you are here doesn't that mean..?" her eyes grew wide. "Dad?" she questioned her voice thick with tears.

_'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore, believe it_

"Luce, I am so sorry. You have so much going for you I couldn't let them take it all away from you. I made a deal Luce. Me for you" Eric told her simply letting his eyes take him back to where Annie was sitting.

Lucy looked shocked. She started to bawl and hyperventilating. "Why did you do it dad? WHY?" she screamed at him. "YOU SHOULD HAVE LET ME GO!" She stood up too fast and put her hand on her forehead. "Why don't I feel so good?" she demanded. Eric smiled. "You're going home now. Take care of your mom for me Luce." Eric stood up and wrapped his arms around Lucy for one last time. "I love you Luce. I'll always be here for you" he told her as the sound of his voice started to fade away and the image of him gone. "Daddy!!! Come back!" she screamed until suddenly her world went black again.

_Hold on to me and, never let me go, keep breathing_

"Lucy? Can you hear me Lucy? I need you to nod your head" she heard he doctor ask her. Lucy nodded her head "Where am I?" she croaked. "Where's Kevin?" The doctor smiled. "You gave us quite a scare. We lost you for a minute." Lucy's eyes widened. "Where's my dad? I need to see my dad" she cried trying to get out of bed, but the doctor pushed her back. "I'll let Kevin know you are awake" he turned around and left the room and Lucy laid her had back onto her pillow. It was just a nightmare. None of it could have been real…right?

She heard the door creak open and tried to sit up in bed. "Look, dad whatever happened back there wasn't your fault. Everything is going to be…" she paused in mid-sentence when she saw Kevin standing back in the doorway. His face bright red as if he had been crying. "Kevin?" she trembled. "What's wrong?"

"Luce, I am so sorry" he told her walking over to the hospital bed.

"What do you mean you're sorry? I'm fine it wasn't your fault. These things happen. Now, where's my dad? I need to talk to him" she asked.

Kevin covered his mouth and looked away from his wife. How do you tell someone that their own dad has died? Especially when the man who died was like your own father?

"Lucy, about your dad." He started. "He's…he's gone". Lucy looked at him for a moment and bit her lip. "What do you mean he's gone?" tears started to form in her eyes. "He can't be. I just talked to him. He told me that he'd always be here" she was in denial. Whatever just happened between her and Eric was just a dream. "He's not gone Kevin. He's still here. I know he is. He told me himself."

Kevin just stared at her. "Luce. I need you to look at me and hear what I am saying. When they lost you for those few seconds after they delivered the baby. Your dad passed away in his sleep. He's gone sweetie." He wrapped his arms around Lucy as she started to sob. "He can't be, it's not fair. He shouldn't have made that deal" she sobbed harder. Kevin was puzzled, but didn't want to press the issue. Clearly after giving birth and the death of her dad was causing more stress than needed.

_'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore, believe it_

Lucy pulled away and wiped her the tears away on her hospital gown. "Do you want me to have the nurse bring the baby in?" Kevin asked. Lucy nodded her head. "I want to see our son" Kevin looked bewildered. "How did you know we had a boy?" His brow wrinkled. Lucy opened her mouth and then closed it. "Kevin, if I tell you something. Do you promise never to bring it up again?" Kevin nodded.

Lucy bit her lip once again and stared down at her hands. "When I…after everything went black I could tell something was wrong. I felt like I was floating so I closed my eyes and when I opened them I could see them working on me and I saw them get the baby out and then…" she held a sob. "I saw my dad in the waiting room. He told me that I was suppose to die but he made a deal" she started to cry. "He made a deal that I could live and he would die" she sobbed. "I yelled at him but he told me I had to come back home and then….and then everything went black again" she buried herself into Kevin's chest and he held her close.

They stayed there for a while until a soft knock was heard on the door. "Mrs. Kinkirk? I brought your son down…" the nurse stopped and saw the tender moment between husband and wife and quietly wheeled the small, sleeping infant into the room next to the bed, not disturbing the young couple and quickly exited the room. Kevin and Lucy stayed in the embrace until the baby started to cry, when they realized the presence of their son. Lucy scooped him up close and held him close to her. He really was a miracle after all.

_Hold on to me and, never let me go. Keep breathing_


	4. Part 4

Lucy pulled off to the side of the road and parked the car. Opening up the driver's door she yanked the keys out of the ignition. She put her keys on top of the car and straightened out her skirt. She had dropped Savannah off at pre-school and it was just her and the baby. She opened the passenger's side of the silver Ford Escape and unhooked him from his car seat. "Hey sweetie." She cooed. "Do you want to go for a walk with momma?"

The baby gurgled. Lucy laughed. "I guess I'll take that as a yes" she decided as she picked up the Sling Rider that Annie had gotten for Kevin and her for a baby gift and pulled it over her body with the arm she had free. She placed the baby in the Sling Rider and shut the door. Lucy was trying to lose the rest of her baby weight (she still had about 15 pounds to go) and every night, Kevin, Savannah, Lucy, Callie and the baby would go for a 30 minute walk, which usually left Kevin carrying Savannah and Lucy trying to tame the puppy.

She grabbed the keys from the top of the SUV and hit the lock button on the car keypad and waited until the sound of horn, which signaled the car had been locked. Lucy turned around and looked to the right and left before she walked across the two lane highway. She pushed the gate open and headed toward the large oak tree. As she was walking, she looked down to check on her son. It was hard to believe that it had only been four months since he was born and he still was precious. Lucy almost lost track of where she was going and passed what she had stopped to see.

She bent down on the green grass in front of Eric's grave and brushed off some dirt that had accumulated there recently. She had come there often when she felt lonely or sad, and somehow when she'd leave she would feel some sort of peace. "Hey daddy. It's Luce. I'm sorry I hadn't come these past few weeks. Savannah got the chicken pox from one of the kids down the street and then Kevin ended up getting them. What is it with men and being sick that they turn into such babies? Anyways, since it's warmer outside these days I wanted to introduce you to someone." She tossed her keys to the ground and finagled around the carrier and got the baby out.

_Hold on to me and, never let me go. Keep breathing_

"Dad, I want you to meet my son, his name is Eric" she explained to the grave stone. "I picked the name. I wanted my son to remember who his grandpa was. That if it wasn't for his grandpa…" her throat started to close and the tears were already forming in her eyes. She didn't want to do that every time she came but it was always an emotional moment for her. She gulped and tried again. "That if it wasn't for his grandpa Eric, I'd never get to see him grow up" she cried and clung to baby Eric a little tighter. "I wish you were still here dad, the church has gotten so big since you left that I've had to hire another associate pastor to take on the work load along with me. Remember Sandy? I hired her full-time to work with the teen group. I've also added an teen mothers group and she's been so wonderful with them. It's really great to have someone the girls can relate to you know? I've been thinking about calling Chandler to see if he knows anyone who wants to be a full-time pastor for a while. I've got my hands full with Eric and Savannah that I don't have as much time as I use to these days. But don't worry. I'm not going to quit and give up my career because I'm a mom"

Lucy bit her lips and jiggled baby Eric around for a little bit before putting him back into the Slider Rider, sliding her right arm underneath, rocking him back and forth. "Nothing else is really new these days. Mary and Carlos are moving to Osh Kosh, Wisconsin in the next few weeks. Mary applied for a job to become principal there and got it! It's the elementary school there in town and I guess Carlos can work from home and watch the girls and Charlie while Mary is at work. Who knew Mary would end up being a principal?" Lucy laughed and tucked in the blue blanket a little deeper so it wouldn't end up on the ground.

"Ummm…Matt and Sarah are moving back to Glenoak and they are going to start their own practices here. Sarah's dad inherited a building that's the perfect size and he gave it to them, I'm glad in a way because now Savannah will have some cousins to play with. Ruthie's doing okay. She transferred back to Crawford for her last year and is dating Martin Brewer again. Remember him? He's Aaron's dad. I know you are probably thinking that he and Sandy should have gotten married, but they did move in together for a year and it just didn't work. They were both seeing other people and it just wasn't working out for them. So Martin moved out and he's renting the space above the garage like Kevin use to and Sandy actually married Mac, Martin's friend. Can you believe that?" Lucy tapped her foot on the ground and looked at her watch.

"I have to go dad. Kevin went back to work and he got stuck working the night shifts these days so I have to and relieve him of Savannah duties. Oh and dad? Mom says hello" Lucy told the gravestone as she bent down slowly still holding onto the baby and picked her keys back up. She kissed her lips and then brought them to the top of the stone. She let her hand linger there for a moment before heading back to the car. A gentle breeze rushed across the cemetery. Lucy stopped and turned around and squinted. For a moment she thought she had seen Eric leaning against the old oak tree watching her go back to her car. Baby Eric made a small noise and she turned down to look at him to make sure he was okay before she turned back around, but the figure she had seen was gone.

_Hold on to me and, never let me go_


End file.
